blue in the face

It hurts when there is not a peep nor a whisper when queer people of color are killed in a massacre like Pulse (Orlando) or black women are just slaughtered and abused senselessly- from the very places that were on outrage about more sensationalized, mainstream instances of state violence against black people (read: heterosexual male victims). And I wonder why only my women, queer, feminist friends have something to say about it all. I wonder why these examples of systemic violence don’t hurt your soul like they hurt mine or like other deaths hurt you. Why do some deaths make you stop and feel more outrage than when black women and lgbt folk are victimized?
I am so glad that I am in love with my beautiful black, queer, woman self. So glad that I am raising a son and get to raise him differently… So glad I am not holding my breath and waiting on this world to love me, because clearly I’d be sitting somewhere waiting til I became blue in the face.