A Perfect Storm (Mama Musings approaching the close of Year 1)

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The weather in my city has been really intense and stormy lately, and in perfect form, so has my life in some ways.  But in a different way because I am enjoying so much joy and light and love as I culminate my FIRST. YEAR. OF. MOTHERHOOD.  Wow!  To say that motherhood is hard work is insufficient.  For me it has been an intense, demanding, and worthwhile decision to prioritize in and sacrifice for the wellbeing of my child- without limit.  So we are having fun and I am exhausted as shit, most of the time.  I get frustrated, lonely, irritable and all of that but everyday I am inspired and impressed with my son and myself.  Interestingly, life keeps happening so I have all kinds of new milestones in my personal and professional life and new challenges and difficulties to learn and grow through.  So recently, when things got deep for our family, I wrote a poem about it.  It is right on time as I chart the open territory before for me as a new mother, improve my self-care practice, live more fully in my gifts and create a life that I love for me and for our family.  Here it goes:

 

It’s like I’m in this perfect storm…

And I like storms

Love comes softly like the rain yet floods the river

And my life is perfect right now

And at once stormy and unpredictable

And I don’t know how to manage it

All my dreams are coming though

Love is all around me and oh so much goodness

And so is the pain… I can’t evade the darkness even when I try to pull away

This is the work

I don’t like it, but I’m really good at it

I am here to love and to care for others

But I need this care and love too

I must have it, no question at all

Even if I have to take it for myself

Give it to myself

Give to myself first…I guess this is the only way to survive

The best way to thrive

The hurt is not my own

I feel the hurt of my brother, my sister, my children, and my nation

Far too deeply

So deeply that I don’t want to feel anything at all anymore

And I push it down, down, down until it’s bubbling up and overflowing

Then I remember to let it out, let it breathe

And it’s always better, then

How to navigate a storm

I know how to do this; perhaps it’s a gift

Even though it doesn’t feel that way.

For now just enjoying the calm, actively, intently and fully present

The storm will come again, and again and again…

And it will pass away, again and again and again.

Washing us clean and ushering a fresh new start each time

So I will rest in the calm, frolic and play… but I will also dance in the rain and receive the intense power of the storm.

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One thought on “A Perfect Storm (Mama Musings approaching the close of Year 1)

  1. Obata Kufanya Tena says:

    Omg this has literally described my day. How I love so much but I need that much as well. Absolutely beautiful❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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