The weather in my city has been really intense and stormy lately, and in perfect form, so has my life in some ways. But in a different way because I am enjoying so much joy and light and love as I culminate my FIRST. YEAR. OF. MOTHERHOOD. Wow! To say that motherhood is hard work is insufficient. For me it has been an intense, demanding, and worthwhile decision to prioritize in and sacrifice for the wellbeing of my child- without limit. So we are having fun and I am exhausted as shit, most of the time. I get frustrated, lonely, irritable and all of that but everyday I am inspired and impressed with my son and myself. Interestingly, life keeps happening so I have all kinds of new milestones in my personal and professional life and new challenges and difficulties to learn and grow through. So recently, when things got deep for our family, I wrote a poem about it. It is right on time as I chart the open territory before for me as a new mother, improve my self-care practice, live more fully in my gifts and create a life that I love for me and for our family. Here it goes:
It’s like I’m in this perfect storm…
And I like storms
Love comes softly like the rain yet floods the river
And my life is perfect right now
And at once stormy and unpredictable
And I don’t know how to manage it
All my dreams are coming though
Love is all around me and oh so much goodness
And so is the pain… I can’t evade the darkness even when I try to pull away
This is the work
I don’t like it, but I’m really good at it
I am here to love and to care for others
But I need this care and love too
I must have it, no question at all
Even if I have to take it for myself
Give it to myself
Give to myself first…I guess this is the only way to survive
The best way to thrive
The hurt is not my own
I feel the hurt of my brother, my sister, my children, and my nation
Far too deeply
So deeply that I don’t want to feel anything at all anymore
And I push it down, down, down until it’s bubbling up and overflowing
Then I remember to let it out, let it breathe
And it’s always better, then
How to navigate a storm
I know how to do this; perhaps it’s a gift
Even though it doesn’t feel that way.
For now just enjoying the calm, actively, intently and fully present
The storm will come again, and again and again…
And it will pass away, again and again and again.
Washing us clean and ushering a fresh new start each time
So I will rest in the calm, frolic and play… but I will also dance in the rain and receive the intense power of the storm.
Flowers that Bloom at Night 